I’ve gotten the question quite a bit now, “So what made you decide to go into health coaching?” And I’ve automatically word-vomited that it was because I believe in preventative health and that disease can be prevented through diet, exercise, and lifestyle choices (all true). I’ve talked about how our healthcare system seems to just have a pill-for-every-ill and how that bothers me (also true). But I’ve never gotten into the real, deep, down and dirty personal side of my “why.”
Where it all started
Growing up, I always felt pretty good about myself. Yeah, I might have had 10-15 pounds of extra “fluff,” but it never bothered me until senior year of high school. I had a lot of stress thrown at me from a lot of different angles at that time, and it took a toll on my self esteem, confidence, and self worth. And I began to start hating who I saw in the mirror, the physical self… So in an effort to get my confidence back, I decided I was going to lose the fluff…. and so I did. Not in the healthy way by any means, but by severe calorie restriction and lots of exercise and keeping myself busy.
20 pounds later, I felt better about my body, but was still overly critical of myself. It wasn’t where I wanted it to be, but… it was okay. And then I went to college.
When negativity controlled me…
Losing the weight didn’t help with my confidence, and that became very apparent as I went through college. My social anxiety was debilitating. I tried to be social, but really struggled with it; I felt like I had nothing valuable to say, so I chose to say nothing. And that didn’t exactly make me a ton of friends, and so I felt somewhat isolated, and that added to my depression and self-loathing. I felt like I wasn’t good enough as I was. So, I tried the same method of trying to gain confidence: getting the body I wanted. I yo-yo’ed my way through college with my weight.
The pattern continued through graduation, and just got worse. Now that I wasn’t constantly surrounded by people I knew in school and just couldn’t seem to make myself go out and be social, I got more frustrated with myself. I took a hit on my self esteem, and my confidence just got lower and lower. And I knew this wasn’t who I really was… at one point, I was a happy, confident girl, well-liked and a go-getter. Where the hell was she?! So I continued trying every method I could to lose weight and hopefully gain at least a little bit of confidence via my physical self.
Then, I got physically sick. I was so frustrated and felt like my body couldn’t do anything right, I couldn’t do anything right, and I felt like this was my destiny. I was meant to feel depressed and hateful, and I always would (dramatic, I know). But some small piece of me knew that something had to change.
How health coaching fit in…
If I were to tell you that I got into health coaching out of the goodness of my heart and to help other people, that’d be a lie. It was another attempt to gain confidence through a fit body. But apparently, there were other plans in store for me…
Yes, I learned the fundamentals of diet, movement, stress management, etc. that I would be teaching to clients. However putting myself through the program as a “practice client” forced me to open up the darkest places in my head and heart, and gave me the opportunity to release those areas, and to allow light inside. No, it wasn’t overnight – it took weeks – but with small, little changes, and delving deeper each week, I was finally able to start to heal.
Where I am now…
I can finally say I’m healthy. I eat good, nutritious foods and exercise because I love my body and myself, and I deserve to feel good. And the funny thing is… the weight’s falling off naturally. I’m not even trying, anymore – I’m just doing healthy things because it feels good. I’m taking huge risks in other areas of my life (like this career), and letting go of the fear of judgement. That girl that some of you knew at one point… the one who would always lend a helping hand, the one who always greeted you with a smile, the one that knew how to let loose and have fun and value good times with great people… she’s on her way back.
I want to help people who resonate with any part of my story change their life, too. I was in a dark place, but there IS hope. You CAN find it through a health journey, but here’s the trick:
Everything you do – what you eat, how you exercise – it must be done out of a place of LOVE. If you’re doing something because you hate the way you look, or because you hate a certain part of yourself, you will never be successful. Learn to love yourself – every single part, and truly BELIEVE it – and you will get results you never even dreamed of.
Now it’s your turn.
I’ve gone through it. I know there’s a way out, and I can help you get to it. You deserve to love yourself, and become your healthiest self, so you can live your BEST life. If anything I have written is speaking to you, the time to change is now.
Take the first step. Let’s have a conversation. I don’t care if you invest in working with me or if you don’t have a single penny to spare – I am 100% here for you. We can make this work. Reach out – schedule a session, or just email me or Facebook me or anything.
This is your sign.